The De-Radicalised Jesus

I often read words Jesus spoke and feel for the people he spoke them to. He was unequivocal in what he said and in the way he said it. Perry Noble wrote a wonderful piece suggesting things the religious leaders of the day might have asked Jesus to stop doing.

“Dear Jesus, we need you to stop doing the following things…

#1 – You are really going to need to STOP healing on the Sabbath.  You see, we’ve worked really hard creating a religious system that works for us…and even though people ARE being healed (we cannot deny that) we just do not approve of the day you are doing it.  Sure, it’s miraculous…but the only miracles we are going to give approval of are the ones that take place in our system.  And please understand…not adhering to our request in this matter could prove to be detrimental to your ministry. (Matthew 12:1-14)

#2 – Your methods of healing at times are quite reprehensible.  The fact that you spit on the ground…and just kept spitting SO MUCH that you were able to make mud…and then placed that mud on the eyes of a blind person is flat out unacceptable.  (John 9:1-11)  The fact that he gained his sight is beside the point…the way you did it is unacceptable.  AND the people you heal are bragging about what you did in their lives…we simply cannot have that and if you don’t shut them up then we will (see John 12:9-11).  It’s NOT about results…it’s about our system!

#3 – Your character associations have gone way too far.  It has been reported that you have spoken to a Samaritan woman (John 4) and that you have actually called a tax collector to be among your inner circle (Matthew 9:9-13).  In fact, as we observe your most dedicated followers we are deeply concerned that you don’t seem to have any religious professional among those closest to you.  We believe this is a grave mistake; after all, what in the world would You EVER believe you could accomplish through those unschooled, ordinary men?  (Acts 4:13)

#4 – We do not approve of your teaching methods.  Seriously…anytime someone asks you a question you always break into a story!  Is that really necessary?  Because of this type of behavior we can only conclude that you simply want to entertain people.  AND…the little trick you did with the loaves and fish simply prove to us that all you are interested in doing is drawing a crowd.  Please cease from this type of activity and just try to engage people with “deep” theological that will equip you listeners to feel morally and intellectually superior to those who do not know as much as them.  When you tell your stories you do nothing more than twist the Scriptures to make them say whatever you want…you should know better!

#5 – Your language is quite offensive..and we’re going to ask you to tone it down.  Seriously Jesus, you calling us all “sons of hell” was a little over the top (see Matthew 23:15)…AND the fact that you called us a bunch of snakes, actually comparing us to the devil (Matthew 23:33) shows us that you seem to lack compassion.  Finally, I don’t think a godly man would EVER say of us that we were liars and that we are the result of our mother having sex with the devil (John 8:40-44).  Tone it down Jesus, you are highly offensive.  AND seriously…was the thing with the whip necessary…you seem to have anger management issues (John 2:13-17).  A godly man simply would not act like this.”

 

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